Jealousy paralyzes a relationship
Jealousy is part of everyday relationship life in a moderate form, but it can also take on pathological proportions and cause lasting damage to the relationship. It is a great burden because it is torturous and paralyzing.
Sigmund Freud said of jealousy: „Jealousy is one of the states of affect that can be described as normal, similar to grief. Where it seems to be missing in the character and behavior of a person, the conclusion is justified that it has succumbed to a strong repression and therefore plays an even greater role in the unconscious soul life... There is little to be said analytically about normal jealousy“.
Jealousy does not arise inside of the relationship
The reasons for jealousy often lie in oneself. It shows the degree of trust, our strengths and abilities. Jealousy shows how we feel, what we think about ourselves, and how confident we are.
If we are not strong enough in this regard, the fear of loss increases. The doubts about one's own person lead to doubts about the love of the partner. You don't think you're lovable and you don't trust. Nevertheless, one constantly expects confirmation and recognition from the partner. This is a great burden for both.
When jealousy and a partner's compulsion to control take over, the relationship develops into a prison. Love and affection are replaced by conflicts and quarrels. Jealousy puts the relationship to a hard test. But both have to face it. Together, they can see that jealousy is not triggered by the partner.
With the help of couple counseling couples develop strategies with which they overcome jealousy and support each other in the process.
Strategies against jealousy:
- Communicate your wishes and needs honestly and clearly to your partner.
- Work with professional support on self-consciousness and self-confidencen
- Analyze what the deeper cause of jealousy is.
- Show respect for your partner, even in conflict situations.
- Don't control your partner excessively for fear of infidelity.
- Don't completely give up on your needs for fear of being abandoned.
- Value your partner, but don't tolerate excessive jealousy.
